Sunday, January 1, 2017

After the Ball Drops

More than one ball dropped during Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve in NYC last night.

If you tuned into ABC on NYE, then you unfortunately saw Mariah Carey drop the ball, too. It was a major fumble. Arguably a worse performance than Mike Weber's slippery hands in the Ohio State blowout game a few hours earlier.

But all football analogies aside, the undisputed Queen of Christmas perhaps had a little too much bubbly to pull off a stellar New Year's Eve performance. It seemed that everyone in Times Square was singing Mariah Carey except for Mariah Carey. The queen definitely lived up to her diva reputation. Scepter in hand.

Worst. Lip-sync fail. Ever.

We had a major fumble at our house last night, too. Right before the ball dropped, mommy and daddy realized we forgot to buy confetti and one of our daughters (give you one guess who) decided to have her own diva moment. Complete pandemonium ensued. But in her defense, what is New Year's Eve without confetti? It's kind of like a Mariah Carey concert with no singing. Am I right?

This is not the first time I have dropped the ball as a mom.

As a wife. As a human being. The only difference is, this year, I'm dropping it on purpose. Just like Elsa, I've decided to let it go.

You remember Elsa, right? The other undisputed queen?

Last year, Elsa ruled Christmas. Every single present we unwrapped had something to do with Frozen. We sang Let It Go so many times the lyrics melted on our tongues like snowflakes. It was Arendelle overload. Even though I now despise that blasted song, I am grateful for one thing:

I, too, am learning to let it go.

I'm letting go of all those hats I force myself to wear. All those plates I've been balancing and spinning in the air. All those balls I've been juggling. That line I've been towing. My need to control everything. To have everything just so. The expectations I've been lording over myself. I let go of the good girl I always had to be.

{Cue Frozen Music}

It's funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
The fears that once controlled me
Can't get to me at all

It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I'm free!

{Music Fades}

Something amazing happens when you finally decide to let go.

The ship doesn't sink. Eventually, an able-bodied sailor picks up a mop and swabs the deck. Another mate hoists the anchor. Another reads the skies and takes the helm. Do they always do it the way I would do it? Nope.

But they're doing it. And that's the point.

So thank you, Elsa. Thank you, Anna and all the citizens of Arendelle. Finally, that perfect girl is gone. And I'm totally cool with that. I'm never going back. The past is in the past.

With every fumble, there's always a recovery. It's not always a bad thing to let it go. And I don't care what they're going to say.

It's what happens after the ball drops that matters anyways.

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